guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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