Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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