she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
