I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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