His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
