Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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