I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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