I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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