Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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