He kissed a someone with a penis
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
