ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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