I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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