did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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