I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
