Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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