batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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