Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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