It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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