Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
