i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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