shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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