bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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