Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
