Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
