I wish i was in the wii world.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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