I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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