youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
