I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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