guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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