And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
