is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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