I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
As shirtless as possible
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
