take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
