How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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