my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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