she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
