there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is the high leading the old right now
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
