There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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