your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
