Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
