How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
