then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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