my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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