is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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