Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
