but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
