my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
