i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
