lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
