I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
